just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Randomize
