i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
