I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
