Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
