She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
