Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
