U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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