It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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