Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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