She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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