I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
