he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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