If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize