I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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