she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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