Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Congratulations! We have a period
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