I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize