Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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