Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
