I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
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