my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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