You're completely useless in the revolution.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
