i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
only you would photoshop your dick
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
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Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I need a beard to bite.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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