It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
