does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize