At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
