I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
