she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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