I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
