someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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