I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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