singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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