at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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