she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
