you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
