So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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