The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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