I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
