I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
not ubering you a puppy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
