Your mouth is God's brothel.
In America we eat man semen.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
