i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
