How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
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My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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