he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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