I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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