**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
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