maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
