Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
