Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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