My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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