think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
