3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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