the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
