I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
