do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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