Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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