So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
