I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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