Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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