How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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