The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
