I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
