bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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