I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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